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it only gets worse from here.

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they deserve the world they deserve so much more than me

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but whats it matter noone is gonna read or care whats here ill just feel slightly bette cause i actually got to say something rather than just break my own property rather than try and hurt the feelings of others

i hate my life

i souldnt but i do

i had everyting planned

i had two jobs good money no lie just serving time in a house where my living conditions get shittier everyday

waiting for them to be ready

over and over i have been had the money the time everything and nothing happened

then as soon as everything is just a gew months from woring i lose everything after i quit the other job cause i wanted ectra time ith my daughter before the move and i had to trake a second on again

i cant have anything else to give up i live in shit i get stolen from constantly its cold in my room cause someone busted out a woindow i poatched it what does no good food gets eaten if left in plkain sight nothing is saffe i hate it its a party house and i feel like im hardly invited anymore

my daughter is crawling and making sounds do i see or hear this no

she constantly get things from her family and wic im not even useful monitarily

i serve no purpose im not even her dad or getting to be i just feel like the guy that made her and it hurts every night

i love her so much i gace up my life for them and any dream or hope i had just to fill it with happiness knowing i was enoughta  aman to take care of them and i get nothing no fufilment no acomplkishment i just feel like i cut a girls life short getting her preg early on and im not doing anything about it like a dead beat 

i feel worthless in it all

im stuck in this shit and i dont blame them taking their time being ready its a step down way down for them they have live in sitters food shelter warmth security food everything im trying to get they have every day 

all things i cant offer in such abundance if we live together

maybe them and everyone is just better off without me

the longer i go without her the more i slip into old habbits them more i give up the more i feel replacxed and forgotten i feel like one day ill becvome such a shell of what i was that theyll just leave and i wouldnt blame them id feel damned to if i were bound to me for life

theyll be happy forever taken care of and loved ill wind up under 35 somewhere working craigs adds to try and help a little and be looked down on more than i am

at first it felt like i was slipping away from working too much now its not eenough and i feel like theyre drifting away 

its really sad the only thing i can talk to is strangers on this crap. i cant even talk with just to like shouting in a dark room hoping someone is inside tro hear me

she was such a perfect girl with a perfect life and i got selfish and killed it now i cant fix anything 

i want to love and feel unbreakable how i did when she found me by whats too now a dead creek

idk if im just getting old if i dont shine anymore lost all my magic what it is i just know i have a family that i have changed everything for and given up everything that made me smile and feel alivve fror in polace of the happiness they make me feel

so if i went from ane xample of what not to be to how to live from living in a dream to stuck in a nghtmare then what else do i have to do or how much more unhappy do i have to be to earn the right to be with the two i love more than anything

i dont wanna wake up being this person i hate being this person noone would want to keep me as i am 

i doubt anyone really wants me anymore i just feel like everyone feel sorry for me at this point

im not worth anything anymore im not pan not ebay not anyone special just another guy witha crappy job becoming noone special who would want to love me, why

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the time has come to hurt myself or someone else and i cant hurt people i cant make myself do it as much i want to. either way a lesson will be better learned i suppose. 

appreciate the ones who love you

hold doors open for strangers

say thank you

fear the new and embrace change

breathe

that is all

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oli815:

rainbowpokemon:

1994 = Dog = year of the houndour 8D

1989 = Snake = Year of the Ekans…

(via a-piss-poor-captain)

Source: vampsex
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ianbrooks:

Trippy Stairs designed by atmos studio

Melting stairs again? Man, it’s a tough life living in a surrealist environment.

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(via: design-milk)

Source: ianbrooks
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dpacoalva:

i died when i saw this…i cant

(via a-piss-poor-captain)

Source: fav.me
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